Custody Question For My Husband's Kids

My husband has two boys we will call 14yr "Frank" and 12yr "Tom" (fake names). Our boys tell us a LOT about what goes on under their mother's roof. Needless to say, they want to live with us. The Frank more so than Tom. But Tom has gone from "I want to stay here with mom" to "I hate this ___ about mom's." "Mom makes me cry." "Mom yells too much." Etc.

My husband and I are aware that there has been some abusive tendencies explained to us by them. However we aren't fully sure that they aren't being exaggerated to us by the kiddos, due to disdain for her taking away their electronics often.

My question is this: Can the boys "choose" who they would like to live with? And if so, at what age?

Location: Texas

Context: Their mom, and my husband and I live more than 100miles apart. We live in Texas. I read that children are no longer able to choose where they live in Texas. We have spoken with a lawyer and they said she would almost always win if the current custody arrangement was brought to court for adjustments. My husband has never missed a child support payment.

Details: The kids complain about not having enough clothes/they don't fit/there isn't enough food in the house or if there is food, it is "for mom and their sister (5yr- with different dad). "Diff Dad" was in handcuffs once, on the front lawn, cop cars, lights etc. for trying to break through Mom's bedroom door and Frank texted me that he was scared at 2:00am. That was 4yrs ago. That's how we knew about the incident. March 2025 -They were without more than the clothes they were currently wearing and missed school when Mom decided to finally leave "Diff dad" and I only found out because Tom's girlfriend texted me that she can't reach him and hadn't seen him in school for 3 days.

When we finally got a hold of the boys they were beyond traumatized. They didn't know that Mom was leaving "Diff dad". Just that they couldn't go back to their house or get clothes, or have any personal possessions. They were picked up for a "Dr. Appointment" by their grandmother and never went back to school or their house that day. Mom took their phones and they couldn't reach their dad nor I during this period.

I don't feel that their mental and emotional health are being treated with any concern or recognition, but that is insanely difficult to prove in custody cases. Tom is shy and probably won't speak up about anything to a stranger. Frank is so over everything he's ready to flip tables and has gotten in the habit of being extremely angry, really quickly, over the simplest things. I can tell this situation is affecting his peace and is turning him into a very angry/frustrated/helpless person, during crucial developmental years.

Essentially, I would like to know, is there anything we can realistically do?

Also. I'm mad at Texas.