Nursing Home Made A False Dhs Report, Double Backed, Apologised But What To Do Now?

Location: Iowa

Hi, this is all very fresh and I’m not sure where to turn, so I’m reaching out here.

My mother, in her 80s, has been in a nursing home for six months. My brother, in his 60s, has an intellectual disability. He visits her often (he lived with her well into his adult years into his 40s) and sometimes stays overnight in a recliner in her room. The facility director had previously said this was fine as long as it wasn't every night. The day staff has even said they appreciate him being there, as he helps feed our mom. We’ve never received a formal complaint — just that the night staff “doesn't like it.” His disability is from lack of oxygen at birth; he's had developmental and learning disability his whole life and he struggles to process emotions.

Yesterday, things took a serious turn. We were told by the facility director and my mom’s doctor on a conference call that a night staff member had reported seeing my brother standing over our mom with his penis exposed while she was asleep. The police were called, both he and our mother were interviewed, and a DHS investigation was opened. My brother completely denied it. He said he got up once to kiss our mom on the forehead but remained dressed in a T-shirt and shorts.

Today, the facility director contacted me and my brother to say the investigation is ongoing and that a doctor’s order may bar my brother from visiting. He was devastated and overwhelmed. A few hours later, the facility director, doctor, and director of nursing called again to inform us that the staff member had recanted — they now say he was fully clothed, and the room light was on (which matches what he said all along). We were advised the DHS complain is closed as unfounded.

We’re relieved, but shaken. My brother feels targeted and traumatized. We’re unsure whether we can trust this facility anymore, but there aren’t many other options — it was the only one nearby that accepted a waiver and offered private rooms, which was important to our mom.

We just don’t know what to do next.