My Mom Is Paid By The State To Care For My Nana. She Has Neglected Her To The Point Of A Near Death Hospitalization Recently, Got Evicted, Got Their Phones/wifi Shut Off, Left On A Trip To Belize, And Now Her Water Has Been Shut Off. She Won’t Be Back For Two Weeks. I Live Two States Away.. Help!!!!

Location: California I (33F) am estranged from my mom (51) because she has been both neglectful and abusive to my Nana (71) (and was to us as children) and will never change. She has been getting paid to care for her for probably 20 years or more.. I am not sure, but my Nana has been in terrible health my entire life. She was misdiagnosed with Lupus in her late 30s and put on steroids long term, which wreaked havoc on her body. She was in and out of the ICU for a lot of my childhood, and has suffered from: heart attacks, colostomy, shingles, charcot foot, chron's disease, diabetes, and of course sever e anxiety and depression. At this point she is literally falling apart. She can barely walk because of her neglected Charcot feet, and most of her teeth are crumbling out of her mouth and she needs them removed. For reasons I can only discern as some kind of fucked up trauma response on her part and neglect on my mom's, she continued to visit the doctor who misdiagnosed her almost 30 years ago until this past month because he mis-prescribed her a high dose of Suboxone which caused her to go into Hypotension and almost die.

While she was in the hospital my mom was claiming she was finally going to sue the doctor. She has not followed up with a lawyer as far as I know, but he has been sued previously for malpractice leading to the death of another patient. How he is still in practice I have no idea..

Days before this occurred my Nana told me their landlord sold the house they've been living in for 13 years and they are to vacate the premises. She thought the had 90 days... They now have less than 30, and my mom has not only NOT found them a place to live, she took off to Belize with my half brother's great uncle for two weeks give or take. (All the info I have is relayed to me by my Nana so details are unclear.) As of today I was told that their water got shut off because they are behind $814 on the bill... My Nana pays her with her very minimal SS check every month for rent and utilities, on top of her supposed care being my mom's main source of income.

They live in the Central Valley in CA. I live in Seattle WA. I have tried to intervene and get resources in terms of finding alternate care for her, but she claims her worst nightmare is ending up "in a home being cared for by strangers" and has begged me not to call APS. I've given up on trying to get her to see that she's already living a fucking nightmare and at this point I want to get her help against her will if necessary. She thinks she's going to end up homeless and needs my mom's income to stay alive. For context: she suffered severe child abuse, and possibly brain damage from epilepsy as a child when she fell and hit her head on concrete stairs. I've been in therapy for many years and understand to a degree why she has such a hard time seeing my mom as an abuser and has resigned herself to a life in which she feels entirely helpless, and I can't "save her".. But letting my mom get away with this is eating away at me and I am extremely worried for her. Thanks for reading.