Air Force Spouse Abandoned — No Support, Eviction, Possible Fraud/infidelity, Need Advice

I married my husband in 2020 while he was still in tech school. He never told me he planned to enlist at the beginning of our relationship and he didn’t enlist until he broke his lease, moved in with me and my kids, and then left for training. Which was eventually discussed and I supported.

From the start, he only sent $600/month, even though rent was $1,500–$1,800. During COVID, my income was slashed and my side job disappeared when schools shut down. When I told him we risked eviction, he called me a gold digger and stopped sending support in Dec 2020. By 2022, we were evicted because I got an $0.18 raise and no longer qualified for the COVID rental assistance (but I was also married so why would I actually qualify at all). I later learned he got a lump sum + separation pay while overseas — none of which he shared verbally or financially with me. I found out through his mentor because she too assumed he would just tell me.

Within the first 3 months of marriage he called saying his genitals hurt and told me to get checked; I had already tested clean (during a regular visit prior to). He later admitted to infidelity in texts. On top of that, he’s been verbally abusive (screenshots saved), cut me off our phone plan with no notice, and used my SSN (originally for a military ID form) to file taxes without giving me access to his.

I supported him through training, attended his graduation, and visited him multiple times. He never once came to see me. I don’t even know if he’s still at his last base (in armament systems, possibly E-2/E-3). No idea atp, honestly.

I spoke with a local JAG attorney in my area (he’s 16hrs away driving), and they confirmed he’s 100% in the wrong on all fronts. They told me to contact his base/command, but I don’t know who or how. He once told me “no one will help you, the military will always be on my side,” and that’s stuck with me.

My questions:

• ⁠Who do I contact if I don’t know his unit/commander? • ⁠Are service members required to report separations if they’re still getting BAH w/dependents? - How can I ensure he reported it, if so? • ⁠Could I be owed back pay/support (including the extra payouts)? • ⁠What can I do about him misusing my SSN/taxes? • ⁠Does his written admission of cheating matter in military or divorce proceedings? • ⁠Lastly, speaking out of hurt - Why can I be married, get evicted, and cut off financially and he just turn his back on us and move into somewhere else and never think twice about the financial burden/state I’ve been left in. For context, we had a conversation before he moved in with me about rent increases and what I could manage.

I don’t want revenge — just accountability, support for my kids, and a path to move forward out of this debt.

I just feel… used.

My Location: Maryland His current location: Florida We married in Texas