Headphones, Tantrums And Call Buttons: Why Travelers Are Losing It In The Air

How biometrics make airport experiences smoother for travelers

Biometrics like face scanning and fingerprints are becoming more common, streamlining the airport experience for travelers everywhere.

• Selfishness and a lack of consideration for others are contributing to the rise of entitled behavior on airplanes.
• Crowded planes, stress, and the pandemic are some of the factors that might be contributing to this behavior.
• Experts suggest staying calm, showing empathy, and directly addressing the issue with the entitled passenger.

On a recent flight from Dublin to Istanbul, I heard the unmistakable soundtrack to the kids' TV show "Bob the Builder" blasting through my noise-canceling earbuds.

That's funny, I thought. My "Bob the Builder" phase ended when my daughter graduated from kindergarten. And then I realized that the sounds of "Can we fix it? Yes we can!" were actually broadcasting from the row behind me. A mom was playing it for her toddler so loud I could hear it through my Pixel Buds.

I asked Mom if she could fix my problem by asking Junior to wear a headset, and thankfully, she said, "Yes, I can." She gave her boy a pair of headphones, and everyone else enjoyed a quiet flight.

Check out Elliott Confidential, the newsletter the travel industry doesn't want you to read. Each issue is filled with breaking news, deep insights, and exclusive strategies for becoming a better traveler. But don't tell anyone!

But that got me thinking about entitled and inconsiderate behavior on a plane. I'm not the only one who has dealt with a fellow passenger playing entertainment at top volume. In fact, read any news report of a flight diversion, and chances are there's a thoughtless passenger behind it – someone who didn't want to share the overhead bin space, insisted on jamming their seat all the way back, or didn't want to wait to use the bathroom.

Why are passengers acting so badly? And what can you do if you're seated next to an entitled traveler?

"There's a societal trend toward selfishness – it's 'me-first' and 'me-only,'" said Lori Freemire, a Denver-based flight attendant. "There's little regard for the gate agents or crew trying to do their jobs."

Thomas Plante, a professor of psychology at Santa Clara University, said passengers are becoming narcissists. 

"More and more people think that the world revolves around them and that people should cater to their needs," he told me. "Frankly, it's breathtaking."

I'll say. Although my story had a happy ending, others don't. On a recent flight from Seattle to Dallas, Rachel Wagner had the misfortune of sitting next to a passenger who seemed oblivious to the concept of common courtesy. The passenger immediately began watching a movie on her phone − without a headset.

Wagner politely asked the passenger if she had earbuds, but the woman replied “no” and continued watching her movie. After takeoff, Wagner, who was wearing noise-canceling earbuds, could still hear the movie. Again, she politely asked the passenger if she had earbuds. 

“Why don’t you just get your own plane!” the woman snapped.

Oh, and here's the kicker: Wagner is an etiquette expert, so you know she was extra-polite when she asked. In retrospect, she said, she should have gotten a flight attendant to intervene instead of dealing with the entitled passenger herself. That's sound advice.

Experts say there are reasons for this shift in attitudes when traveling by plane – and specifically, this entitled behavior.

• Crowded planes. Airlines are flying with record load factors, which means there are more passengers on each flight. Add the loss of personal space because of shrinking seat sizes, and up go the chances you'll be seated next to an irritated – and irritating – passenger. 
• The pandemic. Lockdowns and travel restrictions seem to have changed the way many people behave in public spaces, experts say. “It’s like people just don’t care as much about accommodating the people around them to make everyone’s experience better,” said Larry Snider, vice president of operations at Casago, a vacation rental company.
• Stress. The discomfort of modern air travel, with its tight schedules, cramped seating and endless lines, can turn even the most even-tempered passenger into a raging monster. "'I've observed that the uptick in demanding passenger behavior can be partly attributed to the stress of navigating heightened regulations and expectations in the travel industry," said Vlad Vynohradov, a transportation logistics expert.
• Rising ticket prices. “Passengers paying higher prices are also expecting better service,” noted Mike Taylor, who heads up travel research at J.D. Power. 

That's not all. Facebook, Instagram and X have nurtured a culture of complaints. Passengers know that if they take to X or Facebook to complain about their flight experience, they are likely to get a response from the airline. "Social media has set the stage for the go-nuclear mentality," said Susan Sherren, who runs the travel agency Couture Trips.

Bottom line: Air travelers are more self-absorbed and stressed than ever. And it shows. Vivian Au, a flight behavior expert and founder of Air Corporate, says passenger demands have spiked in the past year. For example, on the Los Angeles to New York routes, the flight attendant call button is getting pushed 40% more often than in 2023. 

"First-class travelers now demand responses in under two minutes," she told me.

If you fly, chances are at some point you'll be sitting next to someone who does something objectionable as if they own the plane.

Charlie Neville, marketing director at JayWay Travel, said preparation and patience are key when dealing with these problem passengers.

"I’d recommend adopting a more mindful approach to travel – accepting that delays and hiccups are part of the journey and staying calm through it all," he said.

Being in a good mind space ensures that when you run into someone who is entitled, you'll be better able to handle them without getting emotionally involved.

"When dealing with demanding passengers, staying calm and addressing the situation with facts rather than emotions can be highly effective in de-escalating a situation,” added Ryan Saroli, CEO of Flygreen, a jet chartering service. 

You'll also want to show some empathy, experts said. Joanna Teljeur, a spokeswoman for AirAdvisor, said your seatmate who is having a meltdown and jabbing the flight attendant call button is also human. 

"Empathy in all situations is important," Teljeur said. It may actually be the first step to resolving the problem.

I prefer the direct approach: Take a deep breath and politely but directly ask the entitled passenger to stop behaving like a toddler. Unless, of course, they are a toddler, in which case you'd take it up with Mom, as I did on my flight to Turkey. 

And if none of that works? Then it's OK for you to push the flight attendant call button – and ask a crew member for help.

If you think this discussion is theoretical or a repeat of something I've recently written, I've got news for you: This upcoming summer travel season, which may be the busiest one on record, promises to be full of entitled passenger incidents. Other than deep breathing exercises and a quality headset, I'm not sure if there's a way to prepare for the Summer of the Entitled Passenger. (Oh no, did I just coin a term? I hope not.)

Maybe there's a way to fix this problem. Airlines can start offering a humane amount of personal space again, just like they did before the unfortunate deregulation of the airline industry. They can ensure their passengers have enough food and water instead of trying to sell them everything. They can stop charging junk fees for a reserved seat or luggage. 

If they did that, I bet the entitled passengers would disappear overnight. 

Christopher Elliott is an author, consumer advocate, and journalist. He founded Elliott Advocacy, a nonprofit organization that helps solve consumer problems. He publishes Elliott Confidential, a travel newsletter, and the Elliott Report, a news site about customer service. If you need help with a consumer problem, you can reach him here or email him at chris@elliott.org.