Your Kids’ Heroes Don’t Have To Be Perfect

From the moment I was born, my parents began instilling the lesson that I can look up to people who are different from me. Though Christa McAuliffe’s Roman Catholic beliefs differed from my parent’s theological convictions, they so admired the courage and tenacity Christa evidenced during her journey to become the first civilian to travel to outer space that they named me after her.

Some people think they can only emulate someone who has an identical worldview. How can I have a role model who thinks, believes, and behaves differently from me? If I can’t agree with everything someone believes, why should I set that person up as a role model for my family? As a Christian, isn’t that condoning unbiblical behavior?

As I look at Scripture, I see a different story—God continually puts nonideal candidates like prophets, priests, and kings into positions where they’re setting examples for those under them. There’s room to learn from and honor people who are different from us. And parents can show the children following in their footsteps how to benefit from a variety of role models.

Here are three lessons you teach your children when you give them diverse heroes.

1. We honor God by honoring his creation.

Each person is made in God’s image and thus has value and dignity. One of the ways we honor God is by honoring what he has made. A practical way to do this is to see the inherent value in his creation. Though sin has marred every aspect of the world, we can still catch glimpses of what the Creator saw when he declared it “very good” (Gen. 1:31).

When parents honor people who are different from them, they teach their children that every person has value. A person’s value doesn’t hinge on whether that individual has the same values or political party as they do, but on the fact that God in heaven fashioned them and called them good.

If you only give honor to people who think and believe like you, what are you teaching your children about the value of humanity?

2. We develop humility by cultivating a teachable spirit.

I’ll never forget the time I sat under what I perceived as a terrible lecture given in a horrible manner, when I noticed a skillful public speaker listening attentively. My pride was instantly slain.

This scenario stands out in my mind because I observed someone demonstrating a teachable spirit by learning from a person I (arrogantly) perceived to be beneath his level. His response showcased the beauty of Christlike humility.

In the same way, we model humility to our children when we actively look for ways to learn from everyone around us. Rather than assuming people who think and act differently have nothing to teach him, a humble person recognizes there are areas of his life that can only be improved as he learns from the input and critique of those around him.

We model humility to our children when we actively look for ways to learn from everyone around us.

If you only learn from people who think like you, how are you training your children to respond to critiques from anyone who thinks differently? 

3. We exercise discernment without demonization.

There’s been a disturbing trend in recent years of relegating anyone who thinks and acts differently to a list of defamed and demoted humans. It happens in both believing and unbelieving spheres and has served to make the index of acceptable role models alarmingly slim. We see a different approach from God. I’m consistently shocked by the people God puts into positions of prestige in the Bible.

For several weeks now, I’ve been engrossed in the life of Jonah, a runaway preacher. Despite repenting of his rebellious feet and circling back to preach repentance as God told him to, Jonah still had a fractious heart. Do you know what floors me about this story? God made Jonah the preacher for one of the most successful revivals ever. God didn’t condone Jonah’s selfishness or anger but used him despite them.

I’m consistently shocked by the people God puts into positions of prestige in the Bible.

As believers, we must exercise discernment and distinguish between sin and righteousness—and teach our children to do the same. There’s a way to discern with grace, remembering that every person, including ourselves, exhibits a complicated mix of good and evil. Even the person you consider the worst human on the planet has strengths you can learn from and attributes by which you can be edified. Take a page from the book of Jonah and praise Jesus for not limiting his work to perfect people. Otherwise, we’d all be excluded.

If you demonize every person you disagree with, who will be left for you to learn from? 

If we, as parents, honor God’s creation, display Spirit-enabled humility, and practice grace-filled discernment, we’ll not only set a Christlike example for our children but also see God work through these diverse role models to change us to be more like him.