There’s Only One Way People Change

How do people change? Can they? This question is asked every day, by every culture, in every age. In our contemporary Western world, two approaches predominate. Immersing myself in the writings and lectures of David Powlison (1949–2019) has helped me see the biblical approach.

There’s mystery, of course, as is true for any great question. But the biblical answer is more satisfying than any other approach. It’s satisfying because it’s true, not simply because it works. Let’s sketch two popular approaches to personal change before presenting Powlison’s understanding of the biblical route.

Willpower Method

Amid the chorus of “Man in the Mirror,” a tune popularized by Michael Jackson, you find these words:

I’m starting with the man in the mirror.
I’m asking him to change his ways.
And no message could have been any clearer:
If you wanna make the world a better place,
Take a look at yourself and then make a change.

It sounds catchier with 1980s drums, moonwalking, and a fedora. But this Michael-Jackson approach to change essentially amounts to one thing: exertion of the will. Can people change? Yes. All they need to do is make the decision and execute. Look at yourself in the mirror, find some resolution, and get to it. This smacks of Carl Rogers’s claim that we have all the resources we need for change inside ourselves. “Of course you look in the mirror,” Rogers might say. “Where else would you look?”

By contrast, Powlison wrote that we all need to “look far beyond the mirror.” The man in the mirror is a mess. It’s not just that he doesn’t have the willpower to change; it’s that he doesn’t want to. “Self-will is a living contradiction within you,” Powlison wrote. Some mornings, you’ll look in the mirror and want change; other mornings, you won’t. Our heart motivations lie beneath willpower. The trouble is that our motives are mixed, at best, or insanely self-centered and destructive, at worst.

Do you sometimes want to change? Yes. Is the solution to will yourself into action? No. Nine times out of ten, you’ll fail. And that one time you succeed won’t make you a better person; it’ll only lace you with pride.

Humanist Method

A second method was recently illustrated on the popular TV series Ted Lasso: The rough-and-tumble footballer Roy Kent confessed to his coaching staff that he hasn’t changed, that he’s still the same person. Ted Lasso responded, “Did you want to be someone else?” Kent said, “Yeah, someone better.” Kent then asked, “Can people change?” Here’s how one coach, Coach Higgins, replied:

Human beings are never gonna be perfect, Roy. The best we can do is to keep asking for help and accepting it when you can. And if you keep on doing that, you’ll always be moving towards better.

This is the humanist method: Can people change? Yes. Constant movement toward “better”—progressive improvement through learning and adjustment—is the humanist ideal. It sounds wise. The characters in this scene all agree with their fellow coach’s wisdom.

The man in the mirror is a mess. It’s not just that he doesn’t have the willpower to change; it’s that he doesn’t want to.

But the problem is twofold. First, we often don’t ask for help as Higgins advised. Our culture worships self-sufficiency. Asking for help goes against the grain. Second, accepting help is easier said than done. Kent, who asked the question in that scene, said immediately before this that he’d spent the last year trying to change and hasn’t made progress. Of course, many viewers would argue that he had changed a great deal. He’d become more self-critical, more thoughtful, more generous. But was the reason for those changes that he’d asked for help and accepted it? Or was more going on?

It seems to me that Kent’s changes came from factors outside his control, his planning, or his asking. The changes happened despite him, not because of him. That’s what made the changes worth celebrating. It’s as if they were miracles, like comets colliding at just the right moment. Every person watching Ted Lasso wants to believe we live in a universe where change finds us despite our best efforts to self-destruct.

Biblical Approach

So how do people change? Not by willpower or constant betterment. Here’s the biblical answer: by an act of God. Powlison said five interlocking sources of the divine act bring change: (1) God, (2) Scripture, (3) other people, (4) our circumstances, and (5) our own hearts.

First, God directly intervenes and turns us “from suicidal self-will to the kingdom of life. He raises [us] in Christ when [we] were dead in trespasses and sins.” God is always “the decisive actor and foundational factor” when people change.

We live in a culture that worships self-sufficiency. Asking for help goes against the grain.

Second, God’s Word changes us. “Scripture speaks with a true voice into a world churning with false voices.” We’re always listening to someone. By grace, we change when we listen to the voice of truth.

Third, others change us. “Godly growth is most frequently mediated through the gifts and graces of brothers and sisters in Christ.” God uses the church to shift our path from sinner to saint.

Fourth, suffering changes us. “People change because something is hard, not because everything goes well.” The Spirit uses suffering to draw out our weakness and need so we grow in dependence on God.

Finally, our hearts change. We turn from idolatry to faithfulness, from falsehood to truth, from darkness to light. As this happens, God is the One with his hands on our shoulders. He is the Shepherd-King of every heart.

Powlison’s summary of the biblical approach to change makes clear that change isn’t predictable, as the willpower and humanist methods suggest. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t actively seek change or that we shouldn’t ask for help; it means we shouldn’t assume that it begins and ends with us. When we do, we resort to formulaic methods rather than relying on God’s person-specific work.

True change must be an act of God because only God can change the heart; only he can overturn sinful motives and replace them with selfless ones. Apart from God, people truly are hopeless. They’re doomed to remain the same.

We shouldn’t be surprised at Roy Kent’s frustration over not being able to change. That’s exactly how we should feel when we pursue change apart from faith in the heart-changer. Either God changes us or we remain the same. There’s no other path.