6 Psalms For Lamenting Miscarriage

“I just can’t shake the feeling that I’m going to lose this baby too,” I said to my two closest friends. I’d lost two babies already, and I feared our third was soon to leave my womb. The weight of fatigue had lifted from my eyelids; smells were no longer offensive. The only thing making me nauseated was the sorrow on the horizon.

A couple of days later, as I listened to John Piper preach about how “the secret things belong to the LORD” (Deut. 29:29), I thought of the secret place of my womb. I wanted, desperately, to peer into it, to know if my baby was alive. The next day, on Father’s Day, we lost our third baby.

Lord, why do you keep taking our babies? My wailing was that of a woman who had been thrust into grief over and over. Grief upon grief. I knew that God grieved death—that he grieved the death of all three of our babies. But I also knew he’d numbered their days. And the lament of my heart was “Why?”

Psalms Help Us Lament

Lament is a vital aspect of the Christian faith. Mark Vroegop describes lament as “a prayer in pain that leads to trust.” Through lament, we bring all our pain, fears, questions, and emotions and lay them before the throne of the only One who can help us—the One who has promised to help us (Heb. 4:16).

Through lament, we bring our pain before the One who has promised to help us.

But bringing the cries of our heart to God can be hard. We may wonder if it’s OK to be honest with God about how we feel amid deep grief. Thankfully, God has given us the Psalms for this very purpose. Through miscarriage, I learned to lament. Here are six psalms that helped me cry out to God.

1. When You’re Weary with Grief

I am weary with my moaning;
every night I flood my bed with tears;
I drench my couch with my weeping.
My eye wastes away because of grief. (6:6–7)

Miscarriage can cause a woman to “drench [her] couch with [her] weeping,” leaving her eyes swollen. Sometimes grief wedges itself in our throats, stealing our ability to speak. In these moments, we recall the comforting truth that the Spirit intercedes for us with groans deeper than words (Rom. 8:26). We can weep before God, knowing he understands the cry of our heart.

2. When You Feel Forgotten by God

How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I take counsel in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day? (13:1–2) 

As my husband and I walked through recurrent loss, “How long, O LORD?” often jumped from my mouth. Psalm 13 is a balm to those who feel forgotten by God. When the heartbeat is undetectable, another pregnancy test is negative, or your arms feel weighed down by emptiness where your baby should be, you may wonder, Does God care? We can bring these sorrows to God and pray, “Father, where are you? Please show yourself to be faithful in my grief.”

3. When You Feel Weak

Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
my eye is wasted from grief;
my soul and my body also. (31:9) 

The emotional, spiritual, and physical trauma of miscarriage can cause weariness that sinks into our bones. When weakness envelops us, we can call out, “God, I cannot fathom making it through this day. Please provide strength; help me to rest in you” (see Matt. 11:28).

4. When You Long for Your Baby

I am feeble and crushed;
I groan because of the tumult of my heart.
O LORD, all my longing is before you;
my sighing is not hidden from you. (38:8–9)

Grief deeply longs for what was lost. Our bodies bear the memory of the baby who was once nestled in our womb. We can share every longing with our Father: “God, I am crushed by this loss. I yearn to hold my baby, kiss her tiny nose, and watch her grow.”

5. When You Feel Abandoned by Others

My friends and companions stand aloof from my plague,
and my nearest kin stand far off. (38:11)

Others’ responses (or lack thereof) can be painful. Well-meaning comments may sting our hearts. Sometimes those we thought would bear our burden are the ones who seem to ignore our pain. We can tell God about this too: “Lord, I feel hurt. Thank you for never standing aloof from my pain.”

6. When You’re Crying Out to God

I am weary with my crying out;
my throat is parched.
My eyes grow dim
with waiting for my God. (69:3)

King David wailed so loudly and for so long that his throat was parched. We can persistently cry out to God in our grief: “God where are you? I’m weary of praying the same prayers. Please show me your goodness even in the waiting.”

Lament Is Worship

Did you know that questions like “Have you forgotten me, Lord? Why is this happening?” can be a form of worship? When we take our deepest sorrows to God, we’re declaring he’s worthy of holding our hearts and able to heal our pain. We’re demonstrating our trust in him.

We wouldn’t take these questions to someone we don’t trust. We wouldn’t cry out to someone we don’t love. Lament is an act of worship. And lament is an avenue that leads toward healing. As you walk through the grief of miscarriage, use these psalms to help you bring your lament to the God who sees, knows, and cares about your pain.