What Happens If A Spouse Gets Access To Your Personal Bank Account? In A Divorce Would You Have To Prove That It Was Not “commingled”by You?

Location: MA

I posted awhile ago about a situation I was facing with a medical settlement. I will be receiving a settlement soon of approximately 1.5 million dollars. I posted when I was going through the lawsuit process. Anyways, a few years ago I met a man who is now my husband . At the time, I was living in section 8 housing when we met and did not have any concerns about where I would live and knew I would be getting this settlement (though I thought it would only be around 200k). I am disabled and have a progressive condition. I planned to invest that money into my brokerage account so that I could live on it in addition to my SSDI payment (13k a year). I would use the growth of stocks to be able to buy cars and any medical treatments that were not covered by insurance. A year into my relationship with the man who is now my husband, I let him know I would be receiving a settlement. I did not consider 200k a lot of money and he makes 110k a year. I did not think at this point this guy was after a settlement as we had been dating a year and I hadn’t told him up until that point. He fully supported my plan to invest this money for my future care.

Fast forward to a few years later we are married and the settlement will be dispersed soon after years of litigation. When I was told that my settlement would be more than I thought , I still feel the same way about having it invested and using it only for me and keeping it in my personal account. This is because I will not receive a pension like my husband, he is not paying for any of my personal bills and hasn’t (I have also moved into his condo and contribute a portion to the household bills), and if anything happens in our marriage he can go out and work a regular job to earn back and money lost in a divorce where I cannot.

However my husband has had different ideas about this money. He thinks of 1.5 million as a lot of money even though his pension alone will be worth about that much. He said in as many words that I am greedy to sit on over a million dollars without using some of it to fund things like buying cars in cash for him to avoid debt when he needs one, or to use some of it so that we can move into a house (he has been wanting a house). I reiterated that this money is being given to me for a personal injury I endured and I may need it at a later time, and I also do not want to feel dependent on my spouse as a disabled person (this is how a lot of disabled people become abused) .

If I give a lot of this money to my spouse, without a postnuptial it may be considered commingled and he could have rights to 50% of it in case of a divorce. Given that the average person needs 1 million to 2 million dollars to have a comfortable retirement , I devised a plan to help my spouse feel like I am not a selfish person and still will want to help without sacrificing my security . I told him that I will be investing this money into my brokerage account and want to give it at least 7 years to compound. After that I can withdraw an “income” and can start contributing more to bills or to a goal of a house without jeapordizomg my future medical care and safety.

Any home we bought would be 50/50 split so he would also have to save up for said home. I felt this was a fair compromise . I also asked if my spouse would sign a postnuptial agreement stating that just because I will use some of the dividends from this money to pay for things, that it will not be considered his money into case of a divorce . He at first did not agree to sign a postnuptial agreement stating that “it seems like that is just preparing for a divorce “, but he now has said he understands I need this done to feel safe. I have given up my section 8 , so in case of a divorce I would no longer have a place to live and would have to use a large portion of this money to buy a home for myself. He says he understands, but I am concerned that money often changes people and I am worried that my spouse may not have my best interest at heart.

I am concerned that perhaps when I receive the settlement that he may pressure me to buy things I don’t feel comfortable with, and if he is not the person I thought I married he may even do worse. I feel I want to protect myself as best possible. I read a story of a woman who has called into the Dave Ramsey show. I listen to that show a lot with my husband because I feel like he has alot to learn about finances and investing so we listen together. The woman had a million dollars in her personal account. Somehow her spouse hacked into her account after marriage and stole most of the money and spent it within a short period of time. I am not sure if there is any recourse for such a situation.

In my own parents case they had a joint account and when the marriage went south my father forged my mothers signature and stole most of the money in their account and put it in foreign bank accounts , then stated it was spent in an investment they agreed to that went badly . He was not responsible for paying it back. Because I have observed these things , along with my spouses comments, I feel I have reason for concern. Is there really any way to protect myself from such things happening? If so, what are some options for me?