What Do I Do When I Find Out My Ex Had (has?) Plans To Kill Me?

Location: Stearns County, MN

TLDR: I’m scared for my safety and my son’s. My ex has a history of obsession, threats, abuse, and violent fantasies about me. He hasn’t contacted me in over 2 years, except to say he owns a gun and knows where I live. I’ve never blocked or provoked him. Now the state is forcing me to deal with this again, and I don’t know how to protect us.

I know the logical thing is to go to the police, right? But I don’t feel like I can. This man & I have not had contact in 29 months (since I was just shy of 2 months pregnant), aside from him sending me a threatening voice message on Facebook stating that he hates me, wishes me the worst & reminding me that he knows where I live. Oh.. and mentioning that he now owns a gun.

I didn’t report that. I didn’t have the capacity to, being I had a 10 month old, worked & was trying to manage postpartum depression & anxiety.

Now it’s resurfacing because the state is demanding I name my son’s biological father or lose my health insurance. Which I need—badly. I’m currently waiting on biopsy results that were labeled “extremely concerning.” I found out I can file something called a “good cause claim” to avoid naming him—but part of that process includes gathering statements from people who know him and can confirm he’s a legitimate threat to my safety and my son’s.

Let me be clear - I’ve never blocked him, never tried to keep him away. After he told me he wanted nothing to do with us, I left it alone. I never tried to force him to be in my son’s life either nor did I request child support. But he spiraled into obsession anyway. A mutual friend had to cut him off because he wouldn’t stop talking about me—saying he’d kill himself on my due date, then again on my son’s birthday, saying horrible things about me, wishing awful things would happen.

I ended up reaching out to his ex that he had convinced me was abusive & crazy. She had proof of his abuse towards her, including him admitting to having CP on his phone & raping her. After we stopped talking, she told me they reconnected briefly, until she realized how obsessed he was with me.

She also warned me that he had frequently talked about showing up at my house to kill himself in front of me and my son. And that he had shared how he made a plan on how to poison me while I was pregnant. He also often told her of violent fantasies he had regarding me.

I’m at a loss. I don’t know what to do to keep myself and my son safe… please help..