My Wife Is Cheating And Im The Stay At Home Parent Alone In Another State.

So I will try to keep this somewhat vague as this is a throw away. And its 1am here so I apologize if I ramble. Location: Ohio BACKSTORY: I(M) found hard evidence that my SO(F) has been cheating on me and started a serious relationship since as far as I can tell nearly a year ago. I found out she cheated on me near the beginning of the year as she confessed to her mother what she had done. I have proof that she is romantically entangled with this person from her job and has been lying about spending the night at friends houses during hard working days. She works in a government sector and is known to work long days especially in today's climate.

Ive been keeping track of these nights for some time now and she has even started leaving the house after our kids are put in bed to go "have drinks with the girls" on random week nights.

Our marriage has been hard since covid hit as we faced a lot of unfamiliar and unfortunate circumstances and she was convinced by her parents that we could move in with them to save money for a place. I originally found out she had cheated on me earlier in the year when she told her parents in confidence and they harassed her about it for 2 weeks before she broke and told me. She called off the romantic relationship after that but still hasn't filed for divorce.

I was understanding as the relationship was on hard times due to the strain of living with her narcissistic parents and being tricked into paying their rent and bills as they revealed they had no money after we moved. We ended up moving out in the late spring and her (absolutely drunk) father attacked me over an argument she and her mother were having and I stepped in between them as he went after her. He was arrested (of course) and during a protection order I had revealed his history of abuse on her when she was younger when pleading my case as to why he was dangerous and needed to be kept away from my family. She was furious at me for revealing this in the hearing as she was always ashamed of it. I know not my best decision made in a moment of anxiety and fear.

After moving out and being in our new home for some time I saw a call come up on her watch one night and the profile picture was of a naked couple embracing and a romantic nickname. One night after she fell asleep I was able to access the phone and saw she had been calling this person every day. I checked the messages and found out almost if not every night she was out working late or going out with the girls she had spent with this guy. They lined up with the days I had kept track of her absence at home. About a month ago I started getting hateful and personal messages from spoofed phone numbers and I'm sure its the guy she's been sleeping with raging out on me after arguments between my SO and I about whats going on at home.

We moved almost an entire state away when we came here for her job from all other friend and family we had had. Because I am the SAHP (stay at home parent) I never got to go out and get to know the community or make new friends in the area.

For 90 percent of the time I'm the parent at home with the kids getting them to and from school, cooking, cleaning, bathing, pets, and paying all the bills except her credit cards. I'm exhausted between the DV case against my in law and taking care of myself my children and everything else at home.

I originally became a SAHP because my health took a major hit after getting covid19 and already existing disabilities. I took off a year thinking it would be enough time for me to heal, take care of the kids and get back on my feet. I tried to get back into the work force but she was against me getting a job as it was hard to manage two with her demanding and chaotic work schedule and worried about child care for our youngest who was mistreated years prior.

I sacrificed my career, my friends, my family, and parts of who I am as a person, a husband, a man, and a father to keep this ship running. I wish I could say what exactly but I have no idea if her lover uses this site.

She has been moving money into a new bank account separate from our shared and is being secretive about how much funds we have at all times. I have no funds, no friends, and no family to fall on here and am afraid either my inlaw will show up randomly to my door step or find me out in the little amount of time in the real world and attack me again, or this new guy throwing me to the curb one day and taking me away from my children.

My family said I should bring the kids back home and not tell the mom but I'm afraid of retaliation by her using either her parents, her lover, or the police. Shes been showing narcissistic behavior just like her parents and lied to my face about not seeing anyone as she is "too damaged from our marriage to be in a relationship with anyone." Yet refuses any kind of counseling for us both.

Ive tried reaching out to advocate lawyer groups but keep getting turned away because she still technically resides at the same address as me and makes to much for them to offer services.

Will I be in trouble for taking my kids back home to another state to family without telling their mother? What should/can I do as a SAHP with no resources to make sure myself and my children are safe from all of this? Both the kids are in school now and its the middle of the year.