My Ex Is Secretly Talking To My Kid’s Teacher About Custody And Blaming Me.. And I Accidentally Got The Proof

I am in Indiana and involved in an ongoing custody dispute. We currently share custody and decision-making authority.

I am preparing for court and trying to understand how certain behaviors are typically viewed legally.

Issues:

1. Private communication with teacher 

When picking up my child from aftercare, the teacher returned a notebook that had been left at school. Upon reviewing it, I discovered handwritten messages from my child’s father to the teacher. The messages included:

• Commentary about my child’s emotional state and energy level on days following time with me • Implications that inconsistency comes from my household • Statements portraying himself as the more stable/structured parent • A disclosure that he is pursuing full custody 

I was not aware these communications were occurring, was not included, and was never informed that custody litigation was being discussed with school staff. I preserved the notebook and photographed all pages.

2. Repeated unilateral decision-making 

Despite shared decision-making:

• He enrolled our son in T-ball without informing me; I still do not have details • He has enrolled our son in a school in his district without agreement • He schedules medical appointments without my knowledge and during times he knows I work • He scheduled a parent-teacher conference knowing that selecting a time slot prevents the other parent from attending, and chose a time he knew conflicted with my work 3. Pattern of exclusion 

There is a consistent pattern of making decisions first and informing me later (or not at all), while presenting himself to third parties as the primary or sole decision-maker.

Questions:

1. Is privately involving teachers or schools in custody matters without the other parent’s knowledge something courts take seriously? 2. How do courts generally view repeated unilateral decisions when legal custody is shared? 3. Is it appropriate to raise these issues formally through a GAL or court filing? 4. Are schools typically expected to maintain neutrality in these situations? 

I’m not looking for emotional advice — just legal perspective on how significant these behaviors are and how they are usually addressed.

Thank you.

location: Northern Indiana