My Ex Bf Wants To Adopt My Adult Children (ohio)

Location: Ohio

My (53F) ex boyfriend (53M) and I have been best friends since we broke up about 12 years ago after dating for several years. The break-up was amicable and he's maintained a relationship with me and my children (32F, 27F, 23F) since then. Having no biological children of his own, he chose to step into the dad role when we were dating and my ex husband dipped out of my kids lives. My kids asked my ex bf (let's call him Abe) to be their dad when they were all minors. He's been the one to attend their graduations, walk them down the aisle, and was at the birth of both of our grandchildren. He's never missed a graduation, a birthday, a wedding, or major holiday. He has been a constant in their lives. He's helped them pick colleges, sort out work situations, undergo cancer treatments, undergo brain tumor treatments, and he was in my will as their guardian while they were still minors. If you ask them who their dad is - they say Abe. Our grandchildren know no other grandfather on my side of the family.

I have a congenital illness that is quickly stealing my mobility - and may eventually shorten my lifespan. We discussed him adopting them when they were minors, however we knew we'd have to fight my ex-husband - even though he abandoned them shortly after we divorced. We knew he'd use it to punish both me and the kids. He's a narcissistic asshole (officially diagnosed even - well at least diagnosed with NPD) and has gone on to marry three more times since he and I divorced. Now that I'm not in the best health, the kids want to move forward with the adoption so they are officially Abe's kids.

He was, is, and will always be their dad - in my mind, our daughter's minds, my sons-in-law's minds, and my family's minds. They just want to make it official.

They realise that it's mostly symbolic, but they want to be legally his kids. I'm fully supportive of it and we've been researching it in Ohio. However, it seems that Ohio isn't keen on symbolic adult adoptions and want to limit it to adult children with developmental delays or other special needs. Our daughters all have the same congenital illness that I have - two are on the autistic spectrum and one has ADHD - but they all care for themselves and two of them live with their spouses. (Our oldest daughter lives with me as she is recovering from a very rare cancer). We're found a few states where adult option is easier than Ohio - is that a possibility if Ohio is going to be a no go?

Any help will be appreciated.