Ca Custody - Single Mom

Hey Everyone!

Location: California

I could use some advice about custody proceedings in CA. For context, I am hoping to relocate out of the country with my son who is 13 years old as soon as we can, given the current political landscape. His dad hasn't seen him in 3 years and hasn't contributed financially, pretty much ever. Even when he was around, he would sort of peek-a-boo and pop in for a couple weeks, disappear for a month, etc. Currently, he will reach out to my son sporadically and on birthdays. My son doesn't respond and really doesn't want to talk to him. I think he hasn't responded in over a year at this point. I've encouraged him to tell his dad that he's not ready to talk yet, but he refuses. I have him seeing a therapist so he can cope with the situation as best he can. His dad has sent a number of strange, manipulative and inappropriate messages to him, which I think was the nail in the coffin after not seeing him for years. His dad has told me he wants to give up his parental rights since we don't want to talk to him and since I am not interested in rekindling things, he feels ignored or shut out and goes on weird ragey rants. I have never pursued custody or child support and we were never married. I've just wanted to focus on raising my son as best I can and not deal with courts. However, most countries want proof of custody or proof of permission from the other parent to immigrate there, so this kind of needs to happen in order for us to move. Anyone have any insight that could help? For the critics out there, I'm aware I had a kid with a deadbeat and so on and so forth. Mistakes were made, and I'm just trying to do my best with what I've got. I'd like to get sole physical and legal custody if possible. Visitation I feel like would make my son REALLY uncomfortable and I'm not inclined to force him to. Do I need to hire a lawyer for this? Or is it something I can successfully do without one? Would I need specific permission or a specific clause stating I can leave the county with him? Any helpful advice/insight is appreciated!