Anything Would Help.

location: florida

i need help. i'm in a really tight situation with very little guidance and i'm getting desperate. i am currently on probation in florida, and my last report is on october 20th, the same day my fees are due. i owe $974. i was homeless for the last year and i got myself into treatment in january and now i am 9 months sober. i finally have found peace with sobriety and for the first time in 7 years, since i was 16, i want to be sober.

the situation i'm currently in, however, is causing me a debilitating amount of stress. i'm in sober living, have not yet found a job, and have almost nothing saved up. my girlfriend has a job but is making very little, although she is willing to help me out a bit. as the minutes tick away and i get closer and closer to october 20th, my stress steadily increases. if i don't pay the $974 by october 20th, that will most likely result in a vop and i will be going back to jail for what i assume will be an 11/29 or maybe even more. i'm not necessarily scared of going back to jail, although yes it would suck to go for another year, my real fear is getting out and being right back on the street, and i will likely have lost any drive to be sober, and i'm either going to die or get caught back in the system. i finally want to do this and get myself straightened out, but the weight of this stress is nearly crippling me. regardless, i have still been making steady progress in other areas of my recovery and planning for the future, but i go through these intense waves of dread and hopelessness every few hours when i imagine what's going to happen in less than 25 days.

i don't even know if it's possible. i have been going into businesses all over town trying to hand out my résumé, with very little luck. yesterday i did get a hit with dollar tree and i think they're going to hire me, although it's not guaranteed. but i was doing the math, and even if they do hire me, i'm going to be cutting it extremely close here:

-they pay $13/hr hours usually range from 15-30 a week, so the minimum and maximum weekly income would be: $195 - $360 per week after taxes.

if i make $360/week, it will take me ~2.7 weeks

if i make $195/week, it will take me ~4.9 weeks

obviously i don't have 4.9 weeks left until october 20th, and even at 2.7 weeks, that's extremely close, although my girl may be able to help me with a small chunk of it, so technically i think it's possible.

i don't know what to do. i'm scared of having to start over. i'm scared of going in for a year. i'm scared of losing everything again. i don't even know what i'm really asking with this post, i really just need to get this off my chest, but if anyone has any ideas or experience with this kind of situation, i mean anything at all would be greatly appreciated. i'm getting desperate. thanks for listening.