A Dilemma
Location: WA My brother in law is currently fighting for custody of his 5 YO daughter. He has a court date for the custody decision coming up in a few days. His case is odd, because he's the biological father but not on the birth certificate because the mom cheated on her then boyfriend with him. (One night stand deal, she admitted she wanted to get pregnant during their time together after my niece was born. Her boyfriend at the time refused to get her pregnant, but then signed the cert because the mom lied and said my niece was his biological daughter.) He asked me a few months ago if I'd write him a letter stating what I've witnessed of his parenting. I did, and I wrote a pretty neutral one I'd say. Since he lives 2-3 hours away from his daughter, I was hoping to just support him getting on the birth certificate, every other weekend, part of summer, and every other holiday. Just a few days ago, we got to read new court documents from earlier this month. . We knew he had a protection order against him, but he made it seem like the mom was grasping at straws to prevent him from getting any custody, and that it was just temp until this upcoming court date. We took what he said with a grain of salt, but she has diagnosed issues and at least one past arrest so we didn't know what to believe. We figured there were issues on both sides, and that while he was probably omitting some info, there was a smidge of truth to his claims. We saw some paperwork that backed his story up. He was a decent father figure from the times I saw he had her, and he was good about implementing a structured routine that focused on play and early learning. (Which is better than what I saw from the mom.) These new documents we read really showed just how much he omitted from his side of the story, and there was video evidence of him violating the protection order multiple times. . He now has a warrant for his arrest for violating the order 6 months ago. Because of his downward spiral over the last few months and the paperwork we read the other day, I no longer believe he's capable of positively co-parenting with my nieces mom. Since everything is already filed, should I just let my statement stand as is and assume it's not enough to mitigate all the times he's broken the protection order? Should I call the court and say something? I'm in between a bit of a rock and a hard place here. . Their dad passed a while ago and we're finally getting ready to sell the house to get everyone's equity out. I need him to be civil to our side of the family through next year so we can sell. I don't want to attempt to write another statement last minute that he'll read stating I no longer think he should have visitation and custody. There's no way for me to make a direct statement to the court without him knowing, right?
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