8 Years Later, He Wants Custody

I (26f) am fighting for custody of my child (8f) Location: Georgia

When I was 16-17 I was dating a man a few years older than me and shortly after, ended up pregnant. I immediately dropped out of school, got my GED and picked up a full time job which I worked my entire pregnancy. I asked that he help by paying half of all medical bills and he agreed. He worked several jobs during my pregnancy losing each one because he would get high and not go to work. I never saw a penny from him and we decided to split up. He met our daughter when she was born and from there he rarely made any effort to see her. Her first holiday was Easter, she was only a couple months old and still being breast fed at this point and he reached out asking to take her to his family’s event on Easter. I declined this, she was still very small and needed to eat every couple of hours and he had only seen her a couple of times and hadn’t taken her on his own. From this point he was upset and didn’t contact me again for 5 years.

5 years later I begin to receive hateful texts and calls from random numbers repeatedly. All throughout the night. Each time I blocked a number, a new number would take its place. I am an artist and had a commission request for a piece that said “Karma is a bitch” the size of an envelope. I received reply emails which were inquires sent in to mental health sites under my email and name that said “I have a selfishness problem”. My art had false negative reviews as well as my mother’s books she has written. I had no clue where these were coming from up until I received an envelope. This envelope contained papers that were intended to scare me into letting him see my daughter.

Just a side note, he works in the courthouse and therefore has easy access to court papers, notary and other things. He admitted later that these were nothing more than a scare tactic.

After heavy consideration, I decided to meet with him and discuss the situation. He claimed he was willing to pay child support and wanted to see her. My husband and I were hesitant but agreed on these terms:

1. Visits will be supervised until we were comfortable doing otherwise

2. There will be no more harassment from his wife.

3. If the child at any point did not want to see him anymore she had no obligation to.

He agreed without hesitation. I did not ask for any money from him and he never offered. Here is where I messed up by not getting this in writing but you live and you learn.

We did a few supervised visits whenever he requested. Eventually after spending time at their house and with his pregnant wife I decided I felt comfortable enough for them to take her for short amounts of time. She spent the night a couple of times. He then decided to reach out to my mother who I hadn’t talked to in years due to abuse. He asked her to buy a bed for our child and told my mother she can come see my daughter and they will pretend it was an accident. My mother declined. He kept in contact with my mother and continued to plot against me. I found out about them meeting and felt uncomfortable with the situation, especially considering his wife’s vindictive past and decided that I was no longer okay with her spending the night at his house. He was still able to pick her up for day trips or make phone calls/ play video games with her. Shortly after their son was born the visits and contact became less frequent unless I was the one to drive the hour to bring her to them. My daughter eventually didn’t care to spend time with him anymore and didn’t even want to do phone calls. (Please note that this is not due to any persuasion as I stayed completely neutral about him to her.) She just wasn’t interested. This is when my ex decided to send me a text that in short said “Since you won’t let her spend the night and she doesn’t really seem interested I’m just going to step away” …again. This worked better for me so I did not fight the situation and wished him well. After this the harassment from his wife continued. She posted my animals for sale on Craigslist listed with my address and phone number and said “it's ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests” which I found after I received many calls and texts. She would find my account on every single app and stalk them. Along with other small things. I continued to ignore these and eventually they stopped.

To my complete surprise three years later he reached out again. He says he wants to reconnect with her again. He admits in this text that he was the one who decided to step away previously and said he would respect my choice. I can’t imagine how confusing this would be for a little girl especially because she already has a family with a daddy who has raised her since she was 3 months old. Because of this I ignored the message. He then sent me a paper that was a request for child support on my behalf. I text him back asking what was going on and he claims he is going through the court process to get custody of my daughter.

After some research I found that these papers alone hold no weight. I am able to deny them and therefore I did. I even received a paper confirming that I refused and they found it not in the best interest of the child.

Then a couple months later I was served by an officer, this paper states that he is filing for legitimation and court ordered visitation/custody and gives me 30 days to contact his lawyer or forfeit my rights. He spelled the child’s middle name wrong and put the wrong last name (her last name is my maiden name) in these papers.

My question is: what’s the next step? Am I able to fight this and deny him visitation for the wellbeing of the child?

She has stated she has no interest in being a part of his life and I worry that this will only be for a short time until he gets occupied with something else and leaves her again like he has every time in the past. I want to avoid all emotional distress for her. That being said, I am a pregnant stay at home mom and what little spare income I have I need to prepare for my baby. I’ve reached out to a free lawyer service for my state and can’t get a response. I’m not sure what else to do or what my odds are. Any Help?