People Are Using Ai To Help Them Dump Their Partners

The use of artificial intelligence is vast. From answering deep, philosophical questions to drafting advertising copy to create images, AI seems to be a jack-of-all-trades—but certainly a master of none.

That being said, many people are now using generative AI like ChatGPT for relationship help. For example, one man wrote to me earlier this year saying his girlfriend uses ChatGPT during fights. This is becoming more common. In fact, according to a recent survey by AI-powered relationship assistant Wingmate, when it comes to dating advice, 57% of daters trust AI over real people.

What’s more? A whopping 41% of daters have admitted to using AI to end a relationship. That’s right—rather than typing out their own authentic explanation, many of these individuals turned to AI to draft a breakup message.

“Whether it’s getting help to write a sensitive message or delivering the news entirely through a chatbot, nearly half of AI-using daters have outsourced one of life’s most difficult conversations to a machine,” the survey reads. “For some, it’s about clarity, to help with the sense of not having the right words to convey the complex feelings. For others, it’s about avoiding discomfort altogether.”

Not to mention, Reddit is filled with tons of posts from people claiming AI has helped them process their feelings post-breakup. Rather than oversharing and venting to friends, they do so to ChatGPT and other generative AI tools.

Should you use AI to break up with someone?

This is a complex, nuanced question. AI undoubtedly has many downfalls—including its impact on the environment and potential threat to the economy.

However, many people have also shared countless personal benefits they’ve experienced using AI. For example, we all know that therapy is a privilege many of us cannot afford today. Some claim that ChatGPT has helped them process their trauma and work through deep emotional wounds without feeling like they’re burdening others.

That being said, when it comes to using AI for breakups, there’s a delicate balance you must strike. For example, when ending a relationship, I believe you owe the person a genuine, in-person conversation (unless, of course, you’re in an abusive or unsafe situation).

I mean, consider being on the opposing end of an AI-generated breakup text, like this Redditor.

“My (F28) (Ex) Boyfriend (M29) broke up with me over text, and he didn’t even write the message himself,” the woman wrote. “It seemed so robotic and not like him, so I put it in an AI detector. Turns out it’s 100% AI. He told me he loved me 2 hours before. Our relationship wasn’t perfect, but there’s no way a person who loves you does that. We were both very serious about the relationship (at least he said it all the time), so it just hurts.”

This is a deeply painful and cowardly way to break up with someone. However, this doesn’t mean AI can’t help you in other ways during a breakup. For example, it might help you collect your thoughts or organize your statements before going into the discussion. 

Using AI to process a breakup

For many daters, AI has helped process difficult feelings post-breakup.

One person shared on Reddit about speaking with ChatGPT after a painful relationship ending: “It felt like a therapist who you could ask the most embarrassing questions, and have the same conversation over and over without judgment. I really recommend it to anyone who is hurting, especially those who feel lonely or don’t want to feel like a burden to their loved ones (you never are).”

Another person recommended chatting with AI because “you can nag and spiral on it all day, without being afraid of ‘oversharing’ or talking your friends’ heads off.”

Additionally, they added, “It helps you identify things that probably weren’t that good (get you out of romanticizing the relationship) … [and] it helps you understand yourself.”

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