Someone Is Selling A School Bus As A “bridge Opportunity” And It’s Deeply Strange

Hey – what are you doing right now? Look, whatever it is, it just doesn’t matter unless you are actively pursuing bridge opportunities. Maybe you call them bridgeortunities? It doesn’t matter what you call it, the point is at every waking moment, if you’re a success-minded human, you should be seeking out as many bridge opportunities as possible, and making those bridges happen! There are gullies and gulches and streams and rivers and gorges that need to be spanned, and unless go-getters like yourself are out there finding bridge opportunities, they will remain tragically unspanned. We can’t let that happen.

That’s why I’d like you to see this incredible bridge opportunity that was spotted on Facebook Marketplace, in the hopes that you can get down to the exciting business of bridging!

Even better, it’s school bus-based! Which is how I can justify writing about it here, even though my true goals are getting as many bridge opportunities out to all of you as possible! Bridges, people, bridges! They’re the NFTs of the modern era, only even better. Here, look at the ad:

Look at that! This really is a great bridge opportunity! Look how bridge-y that school bus has become! It’s bridging the everloving crap out of that stream! Damn!

Let’s see what the seller has to say about this bridgeotunity:

Good condition- has been parted out, would be great for a bridge or for possible other uses. 38′ long. Moving not included and you will need a way to load it.

Heavy duty frame.

You are just buying the body and frame- all doors, glass, roof hatches, axles, driveshafts, fuel tank, etc. Will be removed prior to pick up. Photos show some ideas for a school bus bridge that were found on the internet.

Woah woah woah whoa. Hold up there – those pics of fantastic school bus bridges aren’t what I’m getting? They just found them on the – what’s it called – inter-net? Isn’t that the same place where they have all those pictures of penises and kittens and where the Juicero was from?

So, what are you getting in this ad? Looks like it’s this:

A gutted school bus. For $900, and you have to figure out how to get it out of there.

My first reaction, I’ll admit, is disappointment. I was promised a bridge opportunity here, people, and I’m just seeing a hollowed-out shell of a school bus?

Then I remembered something important about those of us in the bridge opportunist community: if you can’t see bridge potential in damn near anything, then maybe you don’t have what it takes to be a true bridgeotunist. And, mothergrabbers, I am all about the bridgeotunities.

So, with that in mind, hell yeah this could be a stellar bridge opportunity! You have what is basically a big steel tube with a mostly flat floor – that’s halfway to bridge right there. Do you own a pair of closely set skyscrapers or towers? If so then, buddy, you’ve basically got a ready-made skyway (itself just a type of bridge!) right here, one simple helicopter or crane trip away from the dream.

Are you chasm-adjacent? Know of a tempting ravine? Have a cleft in mind? A gap, a fissure, a lava pool, a trough? Bridge the fuck out of it! Bridge it, bridge it, bridge it! Buy this gutted school bus and put one end on land, put the other end on land, and let the glorious void exist underneath! Defy gravity’s cruel hand with a couple thousand pounds of bus-steel! Spit in the face of the Almighty himself as you reach across impassible divides with your bus of bridging! You are as a god now!

A god of bridging! For just $900 and a way to haul that thing out of the woods!

Bridge! Bridge like the wind!

(Top image: Facebook Marketplace)

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