How Much Is Too Much For A Man To Bear?

I am 38 years old. Covid ruined me financially and a few other unexpected expenditures nailed the coffin. I run a store and sales have depleted to a level where even catering daily needs have got difficult.

My wife is bipolar. Anyone who has any experience dealing with that can know how difficult it is for me at home at times. I have been married 8 years and very understanding of her situation. But for once I have asked for some support, I get none. There is daily drama at home which I am unable to deal with.

I have a kid 1.5 years old. My only light in this dark time. It breaks my heart that I can't take care of him as I want to. To get him most basic things. Winter is coming up and I don't know how I am going to manage his clothes. Kids require a ton of clothes.

I am leading as frugal as I can. I don't go out to eat. Stopped smoking and drinking. I don't even spend a penny on eating outside. I do get some for home when someone asks for something, but not on me.

I have exactly two pair of pants. One for work and one if occasion demands it. Wash it after going home. Dry and use it in the morning. 2-3 tshirts for daily use which are 3 years old and totally faded. There was a big fight over it. I have got other people things over my own. It might not have been as much as anyone wanted, but it was something.

I don't own any cosmetic including a deodrant. Something is seriously wrong with my foot, it pains like hell but too afraid to go to a doctor.

My mum has diabetes, high bp, cholesterol isssues and now a chronic kidney issue. I can barely get her meds on time. Thank jan aushudi that atleast its managable. It still costs a hell lot for a month with the insulin. Over 10 meds for her and two for my father.

I have tried going to banks. They don't give out personal loans to business owners. I already have a loan for business and mortgage for my house. Heck, I even asked for donation on reddit, but they would pay for dog or kitten. Tbh, I wouldn't pay a random stranger either.

I leave for work at 9:30 and get back around 8:30-9. Help with a little housework and the kid. Spend hours trying to find some work online. Its impossible to find genuine work without tech skills. No market for writing, modin, admin jobs even customer support or a managerial position. Even video editing needs insane level of proficiency. I am doing anything work I find ignoring the legality and morality.

I have constant headache. The wife nags because I don't have time. Ageing parents to care for. Growing child. And me unable to do anything about it.

How much do I have to bear before its too much to bear?